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Currently

Listening To:  Sia – This Is Acting

I was first introduced to Sia by my friend Fishy almost a year ago to date.  Unlike the rest of the world, I had no idea who she was or what she sang.  Over the past year I have repeatedly played 5 select songs and never grown tired of hearing them.  So the other day I was cruising around iTunes and stumbled upon her latest album.  Interesting fact, this album is a compilation of songs her label deemed not worthy, however, Sia disagreed and felt they were hits and put this gem together anyway.  I am SO into this album!  Some of these songs just evoke something from deep inside my soul.

Here’s a little sampler for you to check out —>  Sia – Bird Set Free

Excited For:  Stained Glass Class

The local college offers a variety of community classes during the winter months and yes, April is still winter here.  Several classes caught my eye but learning the craft of stained glass has been a long time dream for me.  Public participation doesn’t totally freak me out even though I prefer being home in my hidey-hole.  The class starts next Thursday and I think I have all of my supplies ready.  It’s a little down played here but I am seriously really super omg excited!!!

Embarking On:  Project ME

That’s what I call it.  I have finally started working on me and my health.  I don’t know what happened but something clicked at the end of February.  I’ve been doing stupid exercises as I call them.  It’s ok to hate them so long as I’m doing them.  I still have to force myself most of the time but find inspiration in finding new home exercises to do.  I’m up to about 4 days a week of doing something intentional.  I have also started making better food choices which includes a decrease in sweets and an increase in vegetables.  Learning to eat cooked vegetables is a challenge for me.  It’s a texture taste thing.  I LOVE raw veggies and can eat them all day long.  I am even ok to add raw veggies on the side in lieu of cooked.  However, I am trying and finding delicious recipes to incorporate them which has also been kind of fun.  Lastly, I decided to try Plexus which is an all natural, non-GMO, plant based supplement designed to stabilize blood sugars, lower cholesterol, and has some overall amazing health benefits.  Weight loss is an added bonus.  I’m currently in the middle of a cleanse and two weeks in I am starting to see natural changes.  My underlying health issues prompted me to try this.  The testimonials are incredible and I look forward to having a healthy inside.  So far, I’ve lost 10 lbs from the exercises and food choices.  That’s crazy!  So I bought myself a new Walmart workout outfit as a reward.  WOW!  I didn’t reward myself with food!  That’s a first and that’s being straight up honest.

Stressing About:  Work

I’ve had to make some changes to my work situation and I am left feeling anxious.  I have nothing coming in.  Ok, that’s a lie.  My BeautiControl business is doing sort of ok.  People, I am an introvert.  It is not natural for me to bombard random people…at all.  So especially being in a new place and not knowing anyone, it’s my own personality problem but it’s still a problem.  I’ve been doing more with social media and the seeds I’ve been planting have been starting to sprout.  Don’t get me wrong, I love helping people get right with their skincare and I especially love seeing how radiant they look and feel after a few months using them.  It’s just getting myself out there is the challenge.  Thank God for reorders!  I also have a few other opportunities I am pursuing so the hoe is in the hand.  Hopefully something will begin to flourish.  I am uber productive at home and I have always wanted to be a home person.  C is supportive and encouraging.  I just hate being a succubus.  GAH!  I have convinced myself that I must be independent from others.  For years I have refused help from anyone.  This is killing me.

Working On:  This House

I set a goal to finish unpacking by the end of March and to get the garage semi orderly.  Goal CRUSHED!  I still can’t believe it.  A 2 car garage filled to the brim.  DONE.  The last push was to just bring it all inside and deal with a claustrophobic house.  I could never be a true hoarder because clutter kind of screws with my senses.  I have been working diligently on the hoard as I call it, sorting – purging – putting away.  A client called scheduling a time to pop over and talk skincare which forced me to relocate the hoard upstairs.  The awesome part is that even though I had to make a fire path in the hallway, the garage and downstairs are done.  I am still picking away at the area guests don’t go but knowing I am 2/3 finished, there is something completely awesome about that.  I still can’t use the garage but that’s ok.  One bay is full of my purge and the other side has some piles to deal with when this stupid winter finally leaves, i.e.:  tools, garage, and garden.  I am going to push myself to have the upstairs finished by the end of April so I can maybe start on some painting projects in May.  By then I am also hoping spring has decided to actually show up.

Crying About:  California

This winter has been long and lonely.  I have been exceptionally weepy these last few weeks as I miss being home.  I miss C.  I miss my friends.  I miss my work.  I miss spring.  I miss my garden.  I miss the smell of CA.  I miss the culture.  I miss the people.  I miss people with open minds.  I am struggling with regret.  I usually don’t regret big life decisions like this.  This is a first for me.  And I can’t stop.  I am desperate for something great to happen here to make me love it.  I LOVE my house.  It has nothing to do with the house.  That has been the one huge positive in this whole adventure.  But I’m not the kind of person who strives for material items.  I just couldn’t live in that camper anymore.  I just couldn’t.  The loneliness is killing me.  Everyone leaves for the winter and I haven’t made any friends and I just sit in this house for days in my own little world.  Inside my head.  C is busy so I barely hear from him.  I won’t even go into how my heart feels about that.  My only outlet of sanity are a handful of friends who reach out to me on a daily basis.  If I didn’t have Angelina, I can’t even imagine the state I would be in.  This is turning into an emotional ramble.  I can tell because I had to type blindly for a minute there through my sobbing.  It’s done now.  I’m ok.  Moving forward.  I called for an acupuncture appointment today so hopefully they will call me back and I can get in for some emotional stability.  Makes me feel better just thinking about it.

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2 thoughts on “Currently

  1. I am sorry to hear you’re a little homesick for California…. I can imagine that it’s a little lonely without C and any friends close by. But that means you have to make an effort to go out… are there any meetups in your area that you can attend? Oh, the community classes are definitely a good place to start and stained glass sounds awesome.
    I wish I could just pop in and hang out with you. It’s so hard to find new people (kind of laughable that I am telling you to get out when I lack a social circle myself, but at least I have J around ;)).

    Very proud you’re taking care of yourself! Keep up the good work!

    Like

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